Dating, Relationships, Uncategorized

What is Love? Don’t Hurt Me.

“The bravest thing a person can do is to love and to be loved in return.”

I never really understood that saying until recently.  I love very easily and how difficult is it to be loved? I’m starting to comprehend.  Being fond of someone, being around someone, being there for someone is really easy if you’ve never disagreed or became angry with one another.  It’s easy to feel like you love someone who is never cranky. It’s easy to feel like you love someone who has never broken your trust or heart, or made a mistake or caused you pain. How easy is it to put up with someone who never argues, disagrees, or takes out of need without anything to give back in return.  It’s easy to love those whom are always showered, neat, and scheduled.

        Love is not a feeling.  Love is a choice. Love is choosing to be there and to be kind and honest.  Love is giving despite the flaws, and history, and pain. Love is choosing to love an imperfect person and not in hopes that one day they will become perfect.  The truth is there is going to be conflict at some point in every and any relationship/friendship we have. Love is choosing the people who are worth it to you to love despite all this.  Love is choosing your people, over and over again. And after your heart has been bruised by this person, this human – it takes bravery to choose to trust them again. It is brave to put the pieces that they broke and place it in their hands, hoping and having faith that they will respect and cherish what they hold, as best as they are able.  

      The thing is too, I hurt people.  We all do. I get cranky, I get scared.  I do selfish things sometimes. I have flaws, and they are many.  So trusting that somebody loves me too, and does all those loving things, (being kind, helping out, investing time), because they genuinely care about me and not tricking or using me somehow – that’s terrifying.  It’s terrifying to trust.

     It’s two fold.  It’s protecting another’s heart in your own two clumsy hands, and it’s placing your heart in imperfect hands and letting them keep it.  Even if they drop it. Even if sometimes they forget and squeeze too tightly. Love is a process. It’s learning the best way to hold someone’s heart and believing the other person is going to learn to hold your heart the way you need.  Love is sticking around for the learning process – forgiving one another and forgiving ourselves along the way.

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