Dating, Family, Relationships

Birds of a Feather

I have one tattoo. I got it when I was 24 with my sisters and my mother. The four of us all look so different. My older sister is dark, with almost black eyes and a wide toothy smile. Her hair is short and fine, soft and shiny. My hair is the longest, brown and untameable curls. My lips are big, and I tend to use more exaggerated facial expressions. My younger sister has shoulder length blonde hair, and big blue Disney eyes. She is a clone of my beautiful mother, except she is short like her father. The saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together.” We all got the same feather tattoo.

If you want to know someone , look at those they spend their time with and to whom they are closest. Iron sharpens iron, and mold spreads. Friendship is built on some or more commonalities so if a person’s spouse is of poor character you can guess that they are as well. I’m not saying we cannot befriend those who differ from ourselves – but we create close bonds with those who have similar souls and habits – people who fit our lifestyle and core beliefs.

I started getting to know this one girl a while back. She had a fight with her best friend. While she was not talking to her best friend she badmouthed, gossiped, and straight up talked trash about her former bff for months. They made up, eventually. It’ll come to no surprise that the same girl still gossips and talks trash about everyone else still, including me. If they speak badly about people they claim to care about and treat each other poorly, you can bet they will treat everyone with the same respect at some point. This is a lack of character – opportunity should not determine your loyalty or respect. That must indicate a lack of loyalty and respect and a crisis of character.

Listen to how someone talks about people they claim to care about – because if they are a bad friend to them – chances are they are just a bad friend. If they are badmouthing each other, what’s stopping them from badmouthing you? Stay clear.

When I start seeing someone new, I spend a great deal of time investing in his family and friends. If his closest friends treat women poorly – guess what? These are his comrades – they encourage each other. Be clear on what kind of man he’s being encouraged to be.

Be ultra selective who you let in your inner circle. Not everybody deserves your time. Cultivate a small inner circle of people who contain attributes you would like to have. You cannot be in the same boat with someone and not go where they are going. Which way do you want to migrate?

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