Advice, Family, Uncategorized

Mama Says

My mother is an intelligent woman.  I don’t think I have ever given her enough credit for that.  My parents are respectable people. They are kind and generous.   My mother has a saying, though she didn’t come up with it.  It’s her reply and has been her answer to almost every issue that has troubled me.  I can hear her saying it in my mind even when she isn’t present.

“It is what it is.” she tells me with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

Growing up I often took this as her dismissing the problem.  It used to hurt and frustrate me how little she seemed to care. I’m a middle child so trying to fix every problem, whether real or perceived, comes naturally. I overanalyze, overthink, worry,  and pick a part every issue. These bad habits have done nothing to serve ne, and only has wasted time.  As an adult, I now see the great wisdom in my mother’s poignant phrase.  (And in her defense, I cared way too much about every little thing. Everything was a problem. I’m sure that grew tedious.)

The truth is – we all have an idea on how the world should run.  What should happen rarely is what actually plays out in reality.  If we hold onto these hopeful, albeit naive fantasies  of what should have been or what should be,  we risk becoming embittered by life and even losing the opportunity to make it a better place. People can die.  People can be idiots. People can be mean and wrong.  Life is often unfair and the world is cruel.  It is what it is.  Only when we accept what is,  are we given the choice and the ability to move forward in a better direction.  Only when we accept a situation can we learn and grow from it.  Accepting what is, is the first step to facing it.

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