Advice, Dating, Relationships, Uncategorized

Red Flag

  I am terrible at relationships. This is not a secret.  You know how the common reactions to fear are either fight or flight?  The anxiety that comes over me in a relationship results in a  somewhat  spastic combo.  I tend to rush things, getting swept up in new feelings that deafen me to the… Continue reading Red Flag

Black Girl Problems, Misogyny, Race, Uncategorized

Discomfort.

        A near 40 yr old college student recently asked me a question to evade from answering one. (He tried to avoid accountability for lies he told.)  I answered it with facts and dismissed him.  His response of deflection, evasion, and then defensiveness to a simple yes or no question was more… Continue reading Discomfort.

Advice, Relationships, Uncategorized

Likable

I was listening to a podcast recently with the boss babe trinity - Oprah, Mindy Kaling, and Reese Witherspoon.  I find each of these women so inspiring.  They discussed many points on female empowerment .   A concept they introduced to me  in their conversation was the idea of becoming more relate-able and less likable. There… Continue reading Likable

Relationships, Religion

From a Happy Bachelorette

I’m not sure when it started. Maybe it’s always been there, the pressure. I remember getting ready for my parents wedding day and being told by guests that one day I too would have a pretty wedding. I was four. At that time the golden, shiny ribbon woven in my braid proved more interesting than… Continue reading From a Happy Bachelorette

Advice, Childhood, Uncategorized

Identity

I have been called a variety of names in my life. My birth certificate says my name is Chanelle Davis. That's not my name. That name wasn't even chosen for me. When I was seven I learned to write out Chanelle in cursive. I loved it. I would start with the curve of the capital… Continue reading Identity